Questions Minus Answers

I’ve just come back from a weekend retreat. Like many retreats, there were trust building games, Bananagrams, nature walks, and thoughtful conversations. Lately, adoption has been an especially big theme in my life, and so there are several adoption related questions roaming around in my mind. Though I was able to share some thoughts, I was not able to be as open as I could have been in an adoptee exclusive setting. While I certainly enjoyed the meaningful time with this group of people, the retreat did remind me of how lucky I am to have other adoptees in my life who understand my discombobulated thoughts and changing emotions.

Here are some questions that I’ve been thinking about lately:

As someone who doesn’t know her birthdate, name, or family, how do I create a holistic identity for myself with so many missing pieces? 

How do I move forward in the future when the past seems so unresolved? And how much energy do I put into trying to open up the past v.s. looking towards the future? 

By looking specifically at adoption news and events and blogging, am I letting my adoption even further define me or is this truly a way of taking power and control of the events in my life? 

Lastly, how do I question and critique the system that brought my family together without questioning the strength of my family unit or hurting them in the process?