Guest Appearance on 김The Korean Hillbilly

Though we both have white partners now, in this conversation, Rosita and I ponder what our youth and early romantic experiences would have been like if Asian men had been a predominant demographic in our areas and if Asian men had been celebrated as masculine and desirable and if our own identities as Asian women had been validated by society.

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They Call Us Bruce Podcast (Episode 101: Adoptees)

On Wednesday evening, Jeff Yang, Phil Yu aka Angry Asian Man, Dan Matthews (DANakaDAN), and I had a conversation about Asian adoptions to the U.S., Dan and my personal experiences growing up as Asian adoptees, stepping into our Asian identities, and our perspectives on some recent, troubling news stories about Asian/Pacific Island adoptions, including the Myka Stauffer rehoming case, the Paul Petersen case, the murder of Johanne by her adoptive brother, and the arrests of 3 Iranian men for selling babies for adoption on Instagram.

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The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane (Review)

Read this book if you want to think of birth mothers reimagined, a fantastical rags to riches “Cinderella” story, or a beautiful portrayal of scenery and a lesser known culture, not if you are an adoptee looking to identify with Haley, the Chinese adoptee character in the story. While Lisa See tried to do her research, her identity as a non-adopted person shows clearly in the adoptee parts of this book. The use of common adoption tropes and clunky, developmentally-off dialogue made the adoptee passages difficult for me to read or even get excited about until the last chapter.

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Myka Stauffer: An Adoption Fantasy Unraveled

If you felt uncomfortable or outraged reading about the Myka Stauffer adoption case, here’s why: The unique factor about Myka Stauffer is the culmination of almost every adoption trope and controversial practice that there is no room left to say what they, as adoptive parents, did well. This case is about Huxley and the Stauffer family, but it is also about the public’s desperation to believe in the fantasy of adoption and anger at being shown the truth of what can, and often does, go wrong.

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An Adoptive Mom to Adoptees: I’m Sorry

This is an open letter to any adoptees who have a fragmented or tenuous relationship with their adoptive mothers. “Today, I want to make that apology to any adoptees who are out there and grieving a fragmented relationship with your adoptive parents, recognizing that I am a part of this group that has caused hurt for so many adoptees. I know that what you may really wish for is an apology from your parent(s), not from a stranger. I hope that you will get that someday. For now, I want to tell you…”

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