Tag Archives: transnational adoption

Adoption/Searching Online Groups

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A few weeks ago, I decided to restart my birth parent search that came to an almost immediate halt in China in 2015 (read about it here). I realize that time is going by – time that I will never get back – and feel confident that I am in an emotionally strong enough place to begin again. I decided to join a number of search groups on Facebook and on WeChat for information about searching, templates for language used on search posters, and camaraderie from others who are also going through this complicated process. Below, I’ve shared a list of potentially relevant searching groups for Chinese adoptees.

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Help Wes Find His Orphanage Friend

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During the 7 years I was in my orphanage in Shanghai, I remember this one boy who was my mentor/big brother. We hung out a lot, and I remember just admiring him a lot. He was also one of the only male figures in my life during my orphanage years. His name was Chen Yijie. Please help me find my friend.

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They Call Us Bruce Podcast (Episode 101: Adoptees)

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On Wednesday evening, Jeff Yang, Phil Yu aka Angry Asian Man, Dan Matthews (DANakaDAN), and I had a conversation about Asian adoptions to the U.S., Dan and my personal experiences growing up as Asian adoptees, stepping into our Asian identities, and our perspectives on some recent, troubling news stories about Asian/Pacific Island adoptions, including the Myka Stauffer rehoming case, the Paul Petersen case, the murder of Johanne by her adoptive brother, and the arrests of 3 Iranian men for selling babies for adoption on Instagram.

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The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane (Review)

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Read this book if you want to think of birth mothers reimagined, a fantastical rags to riches “Cinderella” story, or a beautiful portrayal of scenery and a lesser known culture, not if you are an adoptee looking to identify with Haley, the Chinese adoptee character in the story. While Lisa See tried to do her research, her identity as a non-adopted person shows clearly in the adoptee parts of this book. The use of common adoption tropes and clunky, developmentally-off dialogue made the adoptee passages difficult for me to read or even get excited about until the last chapter.

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Myka Stauffer: An Adoption Fantasy Unraveled

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If you felt uncomfortable or outraged reading about the Myka Stauffer adoption case, here’s why: The unique factor about Myka Stauffer is the culmination of almost every adoption trope and controversial practice that there is no room left to say what they, as adoptive parents, did well. This case is about Huxley and the Stauffer family, but it is also about the public’s desperation to believe in the fantasy of adoption and anger at being shown the truth of what can, and often does, go wrong.

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An Adoptive Mom to Adoptees: I’m Sorry

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This is an open letter to any adoptees who have a fragmented or tenuous relationship with their adoptive mothers. “Today, I want to make that apology to any adoptees who are out there and grieving a fragmented relationship with your adoptive parents, recognizing that I am a part of this group that has caused hurt for so many adoptees. I know that what you may really wish for is an apology from your parent(s), not from a stranger. I hope that you will get that someday. For now, I want to tell you…”

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