Adoption books are hard to come by; good adoption books are even harder to find. Many adoptive parents trust older classics or may get so excited when they see a […]
I was recently asked to speak at the Ray Warren Symposium on Race and Ethnic Studies through Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon. The panel I was on asked […]
Unpopular Adoption Opinion: Love is NOT all an adoptee needs! I oftentimes hear this sentiment as a justification for adoption and people’s desire to help all of the “orphans” around […]
Adoptive parents often mistake silence for a lack of curiosity or questions about adoption, but this is not necessarily true. The adoptee may be waiting for the parent to bring up the topic or may be unsure if they are allowed to ask questions around the circumstances of their adoption. I have adapted the grief Jenga game for adoptees in the hopes that this can increase communication around adoption in your families if this is not something that you currently do.
A few months ago, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Kaomi Goetz over Zoom to talk about my personal experiences as a Chinese adoptee. Our conversation ranged from […]
A few weeks ago, I decided to restart my birth parent search that came to an almost immediate halt in China in 2015 (read about it here). I realize that time is going by – time that I will never get back – and feel confident that I am in an emotionally strong enough place to begin again. I decided to join a number of search groups on Facebook and on WeChat for information about searching, templates for language used on search posters, and camaraderie from others who are also going through this complicated process. Below, I’ve shared a list of potentially relevant searching groups for Chinese adoptees.
During the 7 years I was in my orphanage in Shanghai, I remember this one boy who was my mentor/big brother. We hung out a lot, and I remember just admiring him a lot. He was also one of the only male figures in my life during my orphanage years. His name was Chen Yijie. Please help me find my friend.
Though we both have white partners now, in this conversation, Rosita and I ponder what our youth and early romantic experiences would have been like if Asian men had been a predominant demographic in our areas and if Asian men had been celebrated as masculine and desirable and if our own identities as Asian women had been validated by society.
On Wednesday evening, Jeff Yang, Phil Yu aka Angry Asian Man, Dan Matthews (DANakaDAN), and I had a conversation about Asian adoptions to the U.S., Dan and my personal experiences growing up as Asian adoptees, stepping into our Asian identities, and our perspectives on some recent, troubling news stories about Asian/Pacific Island adoptions, including the Myka Stauffer rehoming case, the Paul Petersen case, the murder of Johanne by her adoptive brother, and the arrests of 3 Iranian men for selling babies for adoption on Instagram.
When I question how I could have both been helped and hurt by white privilege, it is the same type of reflection that I must conduct when I think about the ways in which I have both gained and lost so much through my adoption. The ability to not think in simple polarities has shaped and defined my maturation and has been a liberating discovery.