When I question how I could have both been helped and hurt by white privilege, it is the same type of reflection that I must conduct when I think about the ways in which I have both gained and lost so much through my adoption. The ability to not think in simple polarities has shaped and defined my maturation and has been a liberating discovery.
If you felt uncomfortable or outraged reading about the Myka Stauffer adoption case, here’s why: The unique factor about Myka Stauffer is the culmination of almost every adoption trope and controversial practice that there is no room left to say what they, as adoptive parents, did well. This case is about Huxley and the Stauffer family, but it is also about the public’s desperation to believe in the fantasy of adoption and anger at being shown the truth of what can, and often does, go wrong.
This is an open letter to any adoptees who have a fragmented or tenuous relationship with their adoptive mothers. “Today, I want to make that apology to any adoptees who are out there and grieving a fragmented relationship with your adoptive parents, recognizing that I am a part of this group that has caused hurt for so many adoptees. I know that what you may really wish for is an apology from your parent(s), not from a stranger. I hope that you will get that someday. For now, I want to tell you…”
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I recently saw the new Hollywood holiday, feel-good movie, Instant Family, about Pete and Ellie, played by Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne, who take in three children through a foster […]
My mother spent a lot of time with me when I was younger, but my father also had valuable time with me, teaching me life lessons and how to be […]
Originally published in Gazillion Voices Magazine, 2014: Home. It’s a word that brings a smile to many and is supposed to offer a sense of warmth and comfort. But identifying […]
This is a must-read post for all adoptive and prospective adoptive parents and is perhaps one of the most beautiful and honest responses I have seen lately. I urge you […]
My fingers glazed over little ceramic bowls, colorful vases, beautiful hand-carved wood boxes, and other products deemed mother-worthy by the store in celebration of Mother’s Day. I walked over to […]
In this mid-July heat, one of the most classic summer activities is going to the dark, highly air-conditioned movie theater to sit down and relax for a while. I went […]