A few weeks ago, I decided to restart my birth parent search that came to an almost immediate halt in China in 2015 (read about it here). I realize that time is going by – time that I will never get back – and feel confident that I am in an emotionally strong enough place to begin again. I decided to join a number of search groups on Facebook and on WeChat for information about searching, templates for language used on search posters, and camaraderie from others who are also going through this complicated process. Below, I’ve shared a list of potentially relevant searching groups for Chinese adoptees.
During the 7 years I was in my orphanage in Shanghai, I remember this one boy who was my mentor/big brother. We hung out a lot, and I remember just admiring him a lot. He was also one of the only male figures in my life during my orphanage years. His name was Chen Yijie. Please help me find my friend.
When I question how I could have both been helped and hurt by white privilege, it is the same type of reflection that I must conduct when I think about the ways in which I have both gained and lost so much through my adoption. The ability to not think in simple polarities has shaped and defined my maturation and has been a liberating discovery.
This is an open letter to any adoptees who have a fragmented or tenuous relationship with their adoptive mothers. “Today, I want to make that apology to any adoptees who are out there and grieving a fragmented relationship with your adoptive parents, recognizing that I am a part of this group that has caused hurt for so many adoptees. I know that what you may really wish for is an apology from your parent(s), not from a stranger. I hope that you will get that someday. For now, I want to tell you…”
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