Balancing Emotions with Adoption Jenga

Adoptive parents often mistake silence for a lack of curiosity or questions about adoption, but this is not necessarily true. The adoptee may be waiting for the parent to bring up the topic or may be unsure if they are allowed to ask questions around the circumstances of their adoption. I have adapted the grief Jenga game for adoptees in the hopes that this can increase communication around adoption in your families if this is not something that you currently do.

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Adoption/Searching Online Groups

A few weeks ago, I decided to restart my birth parent search that came to an almost immediate halt in China in 2015 (read about it here). I realize that time is going by – time that I will never get back – and feel confident that I am in an emotionally strong enough place to begin again. I decided to join a number of search groups on Facebook and on WeChat for information about searching, templates for language used on search posters, and camaraderie from others who are also going through this complicated process. Below, I’ve shared a list of potentially relevant searching groups for Chinese adoptees.

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Adoption Themed Book Club List

I recently participated in a FCCNY book club discussion of The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See. The book revolves around a Chinese adoption story. The author, Lisa See, is not an adoptee, and her limited knowledge of adoption and adoptee identity development was very apparent throughout the book. At the end of the meeting, the adoptive mothers in the group began discussing book possibilities for future meetings. This prompted me to put together a list of adoption reading for anyone considering an adoption themed book club or wanting more information about adoption.

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