Lesson #5 – 3/5/2015
There are no secrets on study abroad.
A few nights ago, some girls and I went to a local noodle place for dinner. While waiting for our food, Rachel asked me about one of the guys in our program, “你觉得他帅不帅” (Do you think he is handsome)? Breaking our language contract by thirty minutes, she told me that someone had told another guy on our program that he liked me. The second guy had allegedly told another girl who proceeded to tell Rachel.
Curious about the news, I looked at his Facebook profile page, where I saw that this particular guy had an Asian girlfriend in high school, which was an immediate red flag to be cautious of a potential Asian fetish. This paired with his deep interest in Chinese language and culture was enough reason for suspicion. I was warned ahead of time about at least one person in my group who has an Asian fetish, and there is another person here also gives me that same uneasy feeling.
After seeing friends’ bad experiences and watching the dating patterns of my own college exes, I have learned that Asian fetish touches people, young and old, POC and white, alike. And I want absolutely no part in it. I told an Asian adoptee friend from home about the current gossip, and we discussed the perils of dating as Asian women. It’s so trying to figure out who is decent or not. I really resent having to decipher if someone is truly interested in me or merely interested in my race.
I gained some more information. Gossip truly does change the original story and intent.