Do Trans-racial Adoptees Know Anything About Trans-racial Adoption?

“We adult adoptees acknowledge our different paths and childhoods, and understand that no two adoption experiences are exactly alike or give any one adoptee more credibility than another. We understand the struggles inherent within being adopted in a unique way that nobody else can understand – not even our own well intentioned, loving, adoptive parents. However, those of us who were trans-racially adopted no longer need our Caucasian parents to speak for us. We are grown up now. We can do it.” – Angela Tucker
Yes, yes, yes! The adoptee voice is so often ignored because what we have to say is more complex than the ever-cheery narrative supported by the media and threatens the romanticized image of adoption. We adoptees feel the brunt of the system most deeply, and our voices should be valued.

Angela Tucker

NPR contacted me and asked me to be a part of the Sunday Conversation that aired yesterday morning. I spoke in depth about my story, my upbringing, the challenges and joys of my experience being raised by White parents, only to receive an email the next day stating that they had chosen to go another route. I responded kindly by stating “I sure hope you’ve chosen to include an adoptees perspective for your segment.” I awoke to hear the one-sided, tired, age old perspective that we’ve heard so many times before. A loving, White adoptive parent of three African American children was the only voice to hear. While her voice is valid and valuable, it should not have been the only voice featured on…

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4 responses to “Do Trans-racial Adoptees Know Anything About Trans-racial Adoption?

  1. Hear hear.! I agreed with your response to NPR and your position. Frankly, they should know better. I’m an adoptive parent of two girls from China. I do think there is a dynamic that you have left out. If you read the literature authored by many adopted adults they seem to express a “lag time” of coming to terms conscientiousness with adoption, from roughly the teenage years through the early 30s/40s. Many authors express a gradual change in their way of thinking about adoption and all the questions, emotions and feelings, especially multi-racial families. It is during this lag time when many of the questions and feelings of growing up peculate. And, like my own children, they don’t necessary want to discuss it (with non-adoptees). The thoughts and questions that were/are constantly in the back of the mind start coming the surface of conscious thought and conversation gradually. I think this is pretty common because it is expressed all over the literature and even in recent films. Sites like yours and others on the Internet I feel are having a positive affecting on this “lag time” and helping to address issues that normally are on hold for too long. More to say but that’s all for now. Keep up the good work!

    • Thanks for the encouragement. I think part of the lag time could be due to teenagers feeling afraid of judgement by the public or not wanting to be “disrespectful” of their parents if they begin to look at adoption from a more critical lens. It’s easier to talk about adoption issues with fellow adoptees, but it needs to be discussed with parents/agencies/media if any change will be enacted.

  2. Hey there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Cheers

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